Beset by labor pains, NFL and NBA make their season-ticket pitches: Sorry, we're not buying -- Bud Shaw

Dear NBA and NFL: fix your problems, then we'll talk, sports columnist Bud Shaw says on behalf of Cleveland Fan.

View full sizeJae C. Hong / Associated PressAs long as NBA Commissioner David Stern (and the NFL's Roger Goodell) is willing to play labor brinkmanship with leagues that benefit from publicly-funded stadiums and arenas in order that billionaires can get a few more billions, Bud Shaw figures that Cleveland Fan may find better things to do with money that normally goes to season-ticket purchases.

CLEVELAND, Ohio -- To: Dan Gilbert:

c.c. Mike Holmgren

From: Cleveland Fan

Got your season ticket renewal letters. Hope you don't mind if I respond in an email. In this economy, saving two stamps is nothing to sneeze at.

Dan, great passion as always. Love the enthusiasm. The part when you call out the "naysayers, awfulizers and energy-sucking types" predicting a hard slog ahead for your 10-46 Cavaliers. That's good stuff.

Hadn't thought of "awfulizers" as a word, but will from now on. You can bet your Quicken Loans-mortgaged house on it, if you're carrying a mortgage, which you're probably not.

You wrote, "Smart, insightful fans and supporters like you understand what must be done here to reach our ultimate goal." So what if you said something similar in regard to fan recognition of Manny Harris' exciting future and he's currently riding Byron Scott's bench like the Lone Ranger rode Silver. I still like Manny and I still like the approach. Being called smart and insightful if I agree with you somehow makes me want to agree with you.

Overall, your letter was everything I was hoping for: Glenn Beck meets Lewis Black. Not quite July 8 good, but that's a high bar.

Mike, good to hear from you, too. We share your optimism for the future and hope you're correct when you say "we are headed in the right direction," especially after switching directions from the last time we were told we were heading in the right direction.

We were really hoping you'd come back down to the sidelines and coach. Or that maybe your reputation would attract a guy like Jon Gruden. But, hey, you were a young coordinator once, and if Pat Shurmur ends up half as successful, we can live with that.

West coast? North coast? Whatever! Any offense with the word "coast" in it instead of the grind we were watching sounds good to us.

I realize you have no control over league matters. But why would NFL ownership feel the need to lock out players and threaten that tax-supported stadiums could go dark come September while still asking for my season ticket renewal -- in full! -- by May 1?

I don't like talking about money, mostly because it reminds me that I don't have much expendable income. Still, I'd pay extra for a guarantee that every quarterback wouldn't go down with a high ankle sprain next year. I'd pay a Hex Renewal Fee to you, Dan, if a playoff loss for the Miami Heat could be assured.

But I'd only pay for season tickets once I know there will be season in the NBA and NFL next year.

I know you're just doing what your leagues have instructed by sending out season ticket renewals before we know what the future of collective bargaining might bring. So I don't hold you accountable. In fact, you two are the main reasons why we fans have any hope at all for the Cavs and Browns, respectively. So don't take it personally.

But when you get official word there's going to be a season, check back with me. I mean, Dan, I paid last May not knowing if LeBron would be back. Now I don't know if the league will be back.

Something about that doesn't seem right.

In the meantime, can I ask you both something? My kids, Whammer and Little Dawg, are starting to develop crooked smiles. Just my luck, the dentist says they may both need braces at the same time. I won't know for sure until their next dental appointments.

It's always something. Turns out the dog isn't maintenance free either. The vet seems to think ol' Braylon (as we call him) may need hip surgery. Made a great grab on the Frisbee I threw and hurt himself doing a celebratory back flip.

Needing the braces or the surgery isn't for sure yet. But how about throwing a little cash my way just in case? A little something for my loyalty.

I'll be glad to reimburse your money if later this summer I find out that Whammer, Little Dawg and Braylon are in the clear.

Or if you want, I'll apply it to the 2012 Braces and Hip Surgery fund I've started with the money from my second job.

Thanks in advance for your payments.

And go Cavs and Browns.

Cleveland Fan

Source: http://www.cleveland.com/budshaw/index.ssf/2011/02/beset_by_labor_pains_nfl_and_n.html

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